Archive for November, 2009

Vote for Vampires!!!

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Hello Pretty People!

It’s time to vote for the funniest video in the “So You Think You Can Funny?” Contest for The Second City & Metromix Chicago!

Exciting! Dangerous! Wondrous! We are really exhilarated to be in the running and now we need your votes to be in the Top 5. We’d love to be in the top 5 (who wouldn’t?) and be seen by a panel of Second City alumnus — Fred Willard, Rachel Dratch, Jeff Garlin and Mick Napier!

It goes without saying, but sometimes it’s nice to say, how much we love all of you for the support you give to us.

We would also like to give a shout out to our man, Zoran Gvojic, for his video “Cell Phone P.S.A.“, which is great. So, on the off chance you don’t love “Vampires: The Movie“, at least your vote can go to one of The Gentlemen.

But, as much as we love Zoran, vote for “Vampires: The Movie“.

So to recap:
Vote for “Vampires: The Movie“.
We love Zoran.
Oh, and vote for “Vampires: The Movie” and show The Gentlemen of Long Pork some love!

Your Friends,
The Gentlemen

We're in Chicago SketchFest 2010!!!

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

Well, pretty people, we did it.

We have been accepted into the ninth annual largest sketch-comedy festival in the country! YES! JOY!! BOOYAH!!!

Now comes the tough part: What to wear? Because we don’t want to show up in the same outfits we wore before. We have to out do ourselves. We have to stand out. We need to sparkle like vampires in the sun. Diamond skin. We know we have a few things laying around but, everything looks so, festive. It’s as if everything we own makes us look like we are going to a party, or a wedding. We haven’t been to a party, or a wedding for that matter, in hours.

Should we wear these black suits, with those pink shirts, and red ties?

Mmmmm, no, no.

Maybe these black suits, with those pink shirts, and red ties?

Eeeeeee, nah, no, nope.


We’ll wear these black SUITS, with those pink SHIRTS, and red TIEZ!


Now we are cooking with a very unstable chemical that is on fire! That “Z” really helped. I love that letter sometimes.

For festival and ticket information, please visit Chicago Sketch Comedy Festival.

Hmmm, now to figure out which black shoez to wear…

Ha, there it is again.


2nd Place….We'll take it! And singing? We'll take that too!

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Hello Lovers,

So as you might have guessed from the title of this post, Long Pork won second place.  “At what!?!” you may ask.  Maybe a free flow dancing contest, a how much weight do you lose after taking a dump contest, or even a which is better: Apple, Microsoft, or Long Pork contest.  Well it was none of those!  I’ll tell you what it was right (BANG!)….

I’m sorry to interrupt this blog message, but that man had to die.  He was evil and didn’t deserve to live, but now he has left us with an unfortunate cliff hanger.  What could Long Pork have possible won second place in?  Maybe it was (BANG!)….(BANG, BANG,BANG!).

Sorry everyone, I’m not dead as you originally thought.  I was only faking it until my evil twin Philip took his attention off me.  As I was saying:

LONG PORK took second in the first monthly “BugHouse Short Film Contest!”.  “Vampires: The Movie” came in a close second (the other film had more people there to vote).  We are super proud of our little film and it’s writer, our amazing Zack. 

Oh what is BugHouse?  BugHouse is an up-and-coming theatre here in Chicago.  It’s a great project that everyone should get behind.  To find out more check out

Also, look out for “Vampires” to make it’s way into a certain Second City contest for short films (more to be announced soon)!

And lastly, if you stubbled upon this posting and it’s still Friday, November 6th before 10pm and you are looking for some entertainment, LP’s very own Charley Carroll will be performing in “Co-ed Prison Sluts!” at the Annoyance Theatre in Uptown tonight.  Go listen to him sing the high notes and croon the low notes, vibrating all the right bones in your body.

Oh yes, and the $5,000,000 dollars that LP stole from the bank is buried right over at 222 M (BANG!)