Archive for July, 2010

Summer Post II: Bringing the Funny

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Wow…we are really setting ourselves up for failure with that title.  Hey everyone!  Summer vacation is in full swing, so it’s time to give another update on the boys and their many happenings!:

Last week we celebrated the birth of Seth.  He turned 97. Of course he doesn’t look it, thanks to the fact that he put the classic children’s novel Tuck Everlasting into a blinder in 1923(the first electric blender ever created) with some goats milk, Dr. Bootsies Magic Elixer and a tootsie roll and drank his crazy concoction.  Now he will forever look 14 with the thighs of a Rhino.  Unless he dies falling off the swing rope going to Terabithia (don’t even get me started, not while I’m wearing all this mascara).  Oh…should I mention this is a Bridge to Terabithia spoiler alert?  Too late?  Okay.  Some 6th grader now hates me.

Zack moved from the church he was loitering in, to back down south….and by south we mean the south side of Chicago.  He said he wanted to return to his roots…and by his roots he means the Roots cover band he created last year.  He’s been playing the banjo day and night to get ready for his first gig…and by playing the banjo he means violently masturbating.  We are all very worried about him…and by worried about him we mean WORRIED about him.  If you see him, please call the police.  He is armed.  Usually with his own penis.

Lee got new head shots from John…..they are funny enough on their own so enjoy:

Also, Lee has been catching up on his quest to watch either every bad movie/TV show he loves (Troll 2) or every great movie/TV show he hates (Lost).  Overall, we are just proud he hasn’t blown his brains out.

Zoran was recently sucked into his computer and has been fighting to get out in the style of a bad 80’s comedy.  You know the kind of comedy I’m talking about, the one that thought it was being avaunt gard with it’s forward thinking ideas and commentary about how we waste our lives with technology.  Also, he’s been doing videos (big surprise) and being successful (big surprise) and we are all really happy for him (big surprise), but secretly wanting him to fail and have to run back to us crying for us to make him funny again….right, fat chance.  Either way, he’s still pretty cute.

Charley since his last show in June was a rising star, famous for many years, saw a major decline in his box office numbers with a long string of mediocre action films and hackneyed romantic comedies, fell off the face of the planet, came back into the lime light when recorded audio tapes of him beating his wife surfaced, went to rehab three times, and has now returned ready to get back to comedy with Long Pork again….or film a porn.  Whatever comes/cums first….pun obviously overtly intended.

Actually you can see him every Friday for the next month and a half in the longest running musical in Chicago “Coed Prison Sluts” at the Annoyance theater.  He will be playing the largest 12 year old boy since the movie “Big”, minus the confusing fortune teller back story.

Well…we all hope to see you soon and love you too much for words….especially Zack.

Oh…and there is a new album by Rob Schneider….  More on that to come.


Long Pork's Summer Vacation

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Hello all you long piglets,

I bet you’re all wondering what the Gentlemen of Long Pork have been up to since they shared the same stage as Tim “Ladies Man” Meadows at the TBS Just For Laughs Festival.  Well we’re taking a bit of break from performing till the fall, so we can all enjoy the sun’s slightly poisonous rays.  Rest assured we shall return when the leaves turn that pretty chocolate pudding color.  In the meantime our videotastic member, Zoran Gvojic, has created another video for his website  This time it’s a video entry for the 2010 Eisner Spirit of Comics Award (Basically the Academy Awards of comic books). Zoran was hired to do this for the Chicago Comic Vault (1530 W. Montrose) and it’s designed to showcase the store’s layout. It features a variety of Kusper Super Heroes and a Perfect Strangers parody. Enjoy.

2010 Comic Vault Eisner Video